Comprehensive Guide on How to Talk to Aging Parents Offered Free from Home Instead Senior Care, Torrance
Adult children of aging parents now have a wealth of free resources to help them communicate with their parents on important issues. The 40-70 Rule is a guide available from Home Instead Senior Care, Torrance, for both generations. It is designed to help adult children begin to address difficult issues with their parents such as driving, finances and independence. It also has tips for seniors on how to communicate more effectively with their boomer children.
Torrance, CA (PRWEB) May 21, 2009
Adult children should not wait until a near miss or an outright tragedy before they talk to dad about giving up his car keys. But how do they bring up such a touchy subject? Home Instead Senior Care, Torrance has the answer with the "40-70 Rule," a wealth of expert communication resources for Baby Boomers and their parents (www.4070talk. com).
"The '40-70 Rule' means that if you're 40, or your parents are 70, it's time to start the conversation about some of these difficult topics," explained Denise de Cock, RN, owner of the Home Instead Senior Care Torrance office, which serves seniors from San Pedro to Marina del Rey (www. homeinstead. com/286 (http://www. homeinstead. com/286)). The campaign is designed to help adult children begin to address difficult issues with their parents such as driving, finances, independence and even romance.
The "40-70" Rule is based on research conducted in the U. S. and Canada by Home Instead Senior Care, which revealed that nearly one-third of adults in the U. S. have a major communication obstacle with their parents that stems from continuation of the parent-child role. (www. boomerproject. com)*
"Because of this obstacle, adult children may wait until an emergency or crisis happens before talking to parents," said de Cock. "Our goal with the '40-70' campaign is to provide practical ways for adult children to talk to their parents now. We've seen lack of communication lead to misuse of medications, self-neglect and accidents."
Boomers and their parents can get a free 14-page booklet of conversation starters for sensitive senior-care subjects from the Torrance office of Home Instead Senior Care. The booklet was compiled with the input of Jake Harwood, Ph. D., national author and communication professor from the University of Arizona who is the former director of the school's Graduate Program in Gerontology.
Starting conversations early is particularly important for end-of-life issues such as power of attorney and wills, said Harwood, author of "Understanding Communication and Aging (www. amazon. com). Other topics may need to be addressed as well, he said. "For driving issues, you could say, 'Hey Dad, Fred from next door called to tell me about your accident. What happened?'" Harwood said. "Then take the opportunity to drive with your parent. Even a short drive would help you gauge your dad's skills and deficits."
Such conversations should be broached with care, added de Cock. "It's crucial to begin these conversations assuming 'if' rather than 'when.' Many older adults continue to drive safely as they age, so personal circumstances should determine how much discussion needs to occur," she said.
The Home Instead Senior Care survey found that Boomers have the most difficulty talking with their parents about independence issues, such as continuing to live in their own home, and that their parent's desire to remain independent makes it challenging to address such sensitive issues as health (28 percent) and money (21 percent). The fact that many of these families are still in a parent-child rather than a peer-to-peer role makes the conversations even more difficult.
"It takes two to tango," DeCock explains. "If an adult child always turns first to the parent in times of trouble, then they can expect the parent to continue acting out the parenting role."
"On the other hand, if the child becomes truly independent and stops these behaviors, then the parent may be more likely to relinquish the parent role," she said. "So adult children should be aware of the sorts of behaviors they are engaging in, which may cause their parents to act 'parentally.'"
The bottom line is to keep talking, because the parent-child conversation can be so important in helping seniors adapt to changing life circumstances. Good communication also is vital to helping families know when it's time to seek additional resources. "Oftentimes both adult children and their loved ones can benefit from outside help, such as a professional caregiver," said de Cock. "But the only way that will happen is if they can talk about it."
About Home Instead Senior Care, Torrance
Home Instead Senior Care/Torrance provides in-home senior care to clients in the South Bay, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, offering an unmatched level of integrity, trustworthiness and responsiveness. It is the only senior care provider in the South Bay with a comprehensive hiring and training program that ensures high quality care and reliable, personalized client service that consistently goes above and beyond expectations.
Through ongoing relationships with local senior care nonprofits, agencies, medical centers, assisted living facilities and other senior service providers, Home Instead Senior Care/Torrance has become the most informed source for senior care in the South Bay.
For more information, call 1-800-FOR SENIORS or visit www. homeinstead. com/286 (http://www. homeinstead. com/286).
Media Contact: Mary Blake, MB Writing & Consulting Group, (310) 376-3163 or 310-710-2755.
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